So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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