Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
