Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
