We won't sleep together?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize