Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
