Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
