I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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