Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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