Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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