Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
