Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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