she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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