why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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