Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
