He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
