She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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