your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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