Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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