Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
