Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
