Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
