my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
