Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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