i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
