I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
