its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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