Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
