Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
