remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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