Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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