But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
