hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
