This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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