Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
