I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
