Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
