I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
