Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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