I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
