forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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