i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
