Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
