I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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