What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
