I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
