I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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