OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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