I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
