I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
