Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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