I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize