Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
