Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
