Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
