I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's never too late to be topless.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
