you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
