Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
